May 2013
7 posts
6 tags
Where do they get this stuff?
A few nights ago- on the guest bed:
Emilio climbs up and lies down facing Matt, places his chin on this hands and says, “Let’s talk!”
Last night, laying on his changing table playing with a plastic beaded necklace.
Emilio places the necklace over his eyes and says, “Look Mama! I’m wearing glasses.” Then he removes it and says, “I took them...
9 tags
5 tags
5 tags
On Eric, On Dad, on his Deathaversary
On a May 7th morning, not unlike this one, in 2006 we sat around my Dad’s disease ridden body and watched him take his last raspy breaths. We cried. We laughed. We hugged. We sobbed. We thought about what was next. We didn’t know.
The next day we buried him on an even more beautiful day.
And then we began mourning.
And then we began living our lives again, carrying...
9 tags
5 Things To Do When You Feel Your Temper Rising →
This spoke to me tonight. I’ve had a short fuse this week as Emilio fought sleep.
“Behind your anger is fear”
I fear I won’t have time to get it all done
I fear I won’t have time to myself to decompress
I fear he will never sleep on his own
I need to let them go and meet him with love. Wouldn’t love settle him sooner than me snapping at him to?
Yes. I...
8 tags
Five for Friday
Okay - I’ll bite.
1. My pants are too tight. Worst feeling in the world and it is all I can think about as I sit at my desk. <——— no productivity today
2. Solo yoga and then dinner with friends tonight, Adults only Bat Mitzvah party and hotel sleep over tomorrow night means 2 nights I don’t have to battle 2 year old energy in to sleep....
7 tags
April 2013
7 posts
8 tags
Just Keep Doing It
Hi.
I’ve been kind of quiet over here, huh?
Sometimes I want to write about how awesome my kid is and how amazed I am at him, daily. Especially his verbal abilities and his memory. But I don’t want to come off in a way that makes other Mamas feel less than.
Then, I want to write about how challenging this journey can be sometimes. How I got angry when Emilio won’t take...
6 tags
10 tags
The Guilt. The Balance.
Here’s something.
I have guilt.
I have guilt about the time I’m missing.
I have guilt about not pushing myself more in my career.
Real win-win there, huh?
Sometimes in life, you come across stories, experiences, that make you question your choices. That call out how short life is and more strikingly that it can be cut even shorter. And I hear these stories and think, “Am I making the right...
March 2013
6 posts
7 tags
7 tags
6 tags
Conversations with Emilio
Over Dinner
E: "I want peanut butter with a spoon"
A: *shakes head* "Let's focus on dinner!"
E: "a big bite!"
A:
E: "A little bit?" With head cock and all.
Ahh the age of bargaining is on us!
Music
E: "Mama play some music?"
A: "Sure! I'll play a song I'm really into right now."
A: "Hmm. Not sure why it's not playing."
E: "It's loading?"
Ahh bringing up a child in tech.
10 tags
7 tags
11 tags
A Day in the Life- Picture an Hour
Remember late 2011 when I shared a Saturday via a picture an hour? No? Here’s a reminder: http://barnardbabyblog.tumblr.com/post/10638740795/a-day-in-the-life-as-told-by-15-photos
I did it again!
7:30 We’re up! Time for milk and cereal with special raisins in it (golden raisins)
8:30 Hanging in the living room with a new farm set (This guy loves his farm animals)
9:30...
February 2013
11 posts
5 tags
I became a mother, and died to live. →
Have you read this yet? You should. It is hauntingly accurate at depicting the emotional journey that occurs in those scary, awesome and overwhelming first few weeks, months really, okay years, of becoming a Mother. A new being.
5 tags
3 tags
6 tags
10 tags
TGIF
Emilio,
You were a little more excited than usual tonight.
Like you knew the weekend was just a night away.
And weekends mean lots of time with your favorite people.
Mama and Dada, and Dijy too!
Since you decided you don’t want milk anymore, falling asleep on your own at night is new, and different.
We’ve been figuring that out together this week.
A transition for both of us....
4 tags
5 tags
8 tags
8 tags
12 tags
January 2013
14 posts
14 tags
Empathy in Parenting - Connect and Reassure to... →
Sometimes I can be a little holier than thou in my own head about my parenting. Not like, “I’m so much better than any parent ever.” but more like, “I think I know what I’m doing, and I think my way makes more sense than other ways because my son is Awesome with a capital A.” So instead of sharing some of the ways I look at parenting,...
3 tags
10 tags
A Mama Trip (with no guilt trip)
A week ago, I had just gotten home from my first trip away from Emilio. Having changed my flight mid trip (because I could/wanted to, no other good reason) to get home earlier (8:00pm instead of 11:53PM) I walked in to a Toddler with double pink eye and a double ear infection. I had spent the entire flight anxiety ridden given I knew he was sick and going to the doctor. Having shut my phone off...
3 tags
6 tags
6 tags
10 tags
24 Months - 2!
Emilio,
You’re 2! Wow. And quite a 2 year old you are. You shine such a bright light on the lives of the people around you. You are warm, welcoming, funny, smart and thoughtful.
You love to laugh, dance, sing and cuddle (for a few seconds at least).
You are so self assured and confident. You are who you are with no qualms. It is so refreshing to see. I know some of it will...
8 tags
6 tags
Ramshackle Glam (Tumblr): Right In The Heart →
ramshackleglam:
From today’s Obvious Files: you really, really love your child. More than you’ve ever loved anyone or anything, in ways that leave you bereft of words because the enormity of those feelings forces you to use crazy, overwrought (and also true) cliches like “I didn’t know that love like…
Jordan’s words ring so true. The love is so big and full and deep. And scary....
15 tags
6 tags
8 tags
14 tags
10 tags
December 2012
8 posts
6 tags
14 tags
23 Months
Emilio,
In one more month you will be 2! And you know it! As well as when your birthday is. It has helped immensely that so many of your friends at school have had birthdays recently.
You continue to grow and learn and shine so brightly in our lives.
You love to sing, play with your animals, both stuffed and plastic, dance, give hugs and fist bumps and of course eat. Our time together...
8 tags
Why You're Never Failing as Mother →
Nailed it:
“Feeling like you also need to keep on top of scrapbooking, weight loss, up-cycled onesies, handprints, crock pot meals, car seat recalls, sleeping patterns, poo consistency, pro-biotic supplements, swimming lessons, electromagnetic fields in your home and television exposure is like trying to knit on a rollercoaster — it’s f*cking hard.
We live in a time when we...
5 tags
“But in those early months of my son’s life, there was no question that no matter...”
– From Baby Weight by Cheryl Strayed
(via bringingupbaby)
YES - all of that. It is so true. 