Blogging our first pregnancy and child rearing, all the ups and downs, tears and laughs and overthinking that not only comes with being knocked up and a new Momma, but with just being me.
Last night was kind of a big deal for me. It was the first time in 15 months that I wasn’t the one to take Emilio home. That meant no nursing when he got home and no Mom making dinner.
When I write it out like that it doesn’t seem like as much of a big deal. It was, for me.
Instead of booking to Penn Station 5 minutes later than I should have, I took a leisurely stroll south to Yogamaya and met up with Alison who was only in town for a week for the first Yoga class in longer than I could imagine (over a year).
I was anxious, which I tried to capture above. I was nervous about class, and anxious about how Emilio would be, not because Matt was with him, but because I wasn’t.
After a great flow, and a quick but great catch up, I booked it to Penn and caught the train home. Texts flew as I checked to make sure all was ok on the homefront. Of course it was. He was happily eating and Matt was acting as dinner time pro (read: go with the flow, don’t force food, know he’ll get what he needs) I walked in exactly when I wanted to. Emilio was playing in the bath and all was quiet. There was no tearful reunion, instead I saw a warm smile of recognition and then it was back to business.
Matt told me how Emilio had looked for me in a couple of rooms, and it made me happy to know he’d missed me but not so much it hurt.
I always knew kiddos were versatile, and I knew it would be harder on me than him.
This morning as I was getting him dressed we had the following conversation:
Me: “Last night, I didn’t pick you up, Dad did. Then he fed you, and played with you and put you in the bath. “
E: “Happy!”
So, we’re good.
12 Months
Emilio,
You are 1 year old! You have lived a whole year! We have had quite the year, haven’t we? I didn’t get to meet you quite how I’d planned, but that is a pretty distant memory now, and I’ll always be able to show you the little scar on the bottom of my stomach and let you know that’s where you, my big baby came out! We’ve been ringing in your birthday in style this weekend with a party, cake, friends, fun and play. Its been a blast! But let’s talk about you.
You my baby, are on your way to becoming quite the little boy. You are a walker, really you have been for the last week. You got somewhere to go? You’re walking! And, Sunday morning, on the eve of your first birthday you learned how to push yourself up to standing. Now, you don’t have to booty scootch or crawl to a surface to help you get up. Progress!
You are all about pointing, you want something, you’re pointing at it. You want to talk about something? You’re pointing at it. It is pretty funny to watch. Most of the time you’re asking to eat whatever I’m eating, or for a ball or balloon. Speaking of which, you learned how to say balloon at your birthday party, except you call them, bidoons. I might start calling them bidoons too.
You really love people Emilio. You are still hesitant around strangers, but once you get comfortable you are a social butterfly. We went to our favorite Steak House, Peter Luger, for your first Luger steak this month and as we were waiting for the meal I was following you around as you walked from table to table charming everyone in sight. Its a blast, and thank you for being the happy baby in a restaurant, it makes our meal much more fun! You definitely enjoy the Luger steak, and I think the broccoli was your favorite part of the meal, that or the fresh whipped cream. Now, you are staying to say bye-bye when you wave good bye to people. When Dad is home at night to be with us for bed-time routine, as he leaves the room, you’ll turn on my lap and wave to him and say, “bahbah”.
Let’s talk about sleep, shall we? We were on a pretty good role there for a while, waking up once a night, coming in to bed with us in the mornings and sleeping another couple of hours. On the weekends it was the sweetest, and I won’t lie, I didn’t really mind being late to work a few days. But now, we’re dealing with a little sleep regression. I’m sure we’ll get back in the groove soon, but my dear I’m a little tired. Aren’t you? Sure I like cuddling with you on the couch and listening to you fall asleep on my chest, but unfortunately I have to put you in the crib so I can do Mom-stuff. I know you don’t like it, but you’ve got some soft friends in there who like cuddling with you too! And, I promise, when you’re up in the middle of the night, I’ll bring you in bed with me and you can snuggle right up to me and put your arm around my neck like you like, okay?
Well, what did we get up to in the last month? A lot! It was the holiday season so we were a traveling bunch taking in all the sights, sounds and festitives of this time of year. We went to a Chanukah party at Great-Great Uncle Myron and Great-Great Aunt Rhonda’s house where you played cymbals with your Great Grandma Rose and hung out with your cousins. We lit the candles at home for Chanukah, and in Massachusetts over Christmas and you even lit them an extra night so you could celebrate with Grandma and Grandpa. We slept over at Great Grandmas and Great Grandpas for Christmas and opened presents, played with Uncle Sam and Maibe and had fun with the tree! Then, we got to visit your Great Aunts and Uncles and cousins for Christmas dinner. You charged around the house like a pro, showing everyone your walking skills. And, you got to meet a cat! We went to the petting zoo with your Auntie MJ and Uncle Sam and you were not happy. The animals scared you, but we still got some fun time on the playground!
You have become quite the fan of Khadijah. You see her and get so excited. As I was getting things ready for your birthday party you were chasing her around giving her her toys and cracking up as she would take them from you. It was a blast to watch. A few mornings in a row you’ve joined her on her pillow in our bedroom as we get ready for the day. The other morning, you laid on her like she was the pillow. Good old Dijjy, she didn’t mind at all.
You are still a great eater bud. You tried salmon this month and loved it. And, of course, now you’ve had cake too. But you already knew the joys of sugar from Thanksgiving. Your latest achievement is mastering the straw cup. Soon, you’ll start getting milk in there! Breast milk is still on the menu and you are still nursing many times a day. You like to come up to me and snuggle when you want to nurse. I love it.
You’re so thoughtful and loving, Emilio. You give everyone hugs and kisses, and love being around the people that love you. If we’re not in the room with you, you come find us. You’re never far away, and love just being with your family. When you’re tired, you’ll find a soft spot and put your head down and just smile up at me. Everyone that knows you and spends time with you, loves you, to their core. It is easy to see why, for me of course, but even in just my interactions with other children I can see what they see that’s different in you. I believe it is a beautiful blend of your Dad and me. You got all the good from us.
Your favorite toy remains a ball, any ball. You love to watch them bounce, it makes you laugh. You love to find them, pick them up and thrown them. You love to just walk around holding one. We blew up some beach balls for your party and you were loving having them around. As we were taking pictures, I told you to go find and get the ball, and wouldn’t you know it, you did!
There really isn’t much you aren’t up for Emilio, except having your diaper changed and getting dressed, and I’m so excited to see what is in store for us next. I’ll follow you anywhere you want to go big boy. Where to?
I love you more each moment,
Mama
Emilio,
I’m in the midst of putting together your first birthday celebration. You, my dear, are in the midst of growing and changing so much everyday. One day you’re stumbling around and crawling, the next you’re steady on your feet walking everywhere. One day, you’re babbling B’s, D’s and M’s the next, you’re using all sorts of word sounding constants. Is this your way of telling me that you really are turning 1?
Last night you were reaching impatiently for something on the kitchen table, so I handed you a piece of paper, you then took that paper, walked over to my boot, sat down and proceeded to figure out how to get the paper in the boot. This included, putting the paper on the boot, pressing the paper hard on the boot, reaching in to the boot (Uggs are soft inside!), peering in to the boot, and looking at both objects in your hand. The night before, you picked up a cup and a bath toy and immediately put the bath toy in the cup. Then, again this morning. Quite the new trick you’ve got bud.
You’re figuring out how to climb up and down too. This morning when you were ready to get out of bed you climbed over me and got to the edge of the bed, then you turned around and made your way down. What!? I was holding you later, as I brushed my teeth and all I could see was a boy, a little boy. A beautiful, smart, precocious little boy. Then, I set you down in our room and you walked over to Khadijah on her pillow and made yourself comfortable next to her. Oh Emilio, you are the best.
I love you,
Momma
When I take Emilio out of the bath now, he stands on the bath mat and I put his towel around him. I can’t deal. It is so cute and heartbreaking at the same time.
The other day, I put on a nursing sleep shirt I lived in last Winter, while home with my newborn boy. As I pulled it over my head and put my arms through the sleeves I felt that part of my life, and was nostalgic. I also felt shock, that we were again in the cooler weather seasons, that we are speeding towards Emilio’s first birthday. WTF describes the feeling better than any eloquent words I can craft up.
Emilio’s growing up, there’s not doubt about it. He’s been asking for sometime, without knowing he’s asking, for the infant booster to be removed from his bathtub. I would place him down on it and he’d promptly pull himself up and squeeze in to the small space in front of it. Last night, I finally removed it, he’s a much happier boy in the tub. Related note, this boy loves blue all of a sudden, all the toys he goes for in the tub are the blue ones. Interesting.
I bought Aden & Anais muslin towels on Gilt with a credit I had recently. Oh my goodness are these towels nice, (can they come back on Gilt soon please, don’t know if I can lay down $32 for a couple more) can I have some for myself please? But these towels, they feel like big boy towels in many ways, and it is much more fun to dry him off with them.
Big boy bath, big boy towels. Slow down my baby, let me soak you up as one just a little bit longer!
Emilio,
How are you already 9 months old? I mean, I’ve been here the whole time, but am not really sure how quickly it all went by. Pretty soon you will have been out in the world growing and changing longer than you were in my belly growing and changing. That’s some wild stuff to think about!
So, what have you been up to this month? Well, a lot! You are working hard on your gross motor skills. Your pulling up is pretty darn smooth at this point. You can get up on basically anything. Just today, you started lowering yourself down more than just plopping back down on your bum. The other cool thing you started to do today is standing on your own for a couple of seconds. You’re definitely not ready to do it for long, but you’re getting there! I see the wheels spinning as you figure out that you can stand without holding something. Pretty awesome, buddy.
You have graduated from the army shuffle to crawling. You are a man on the go. When you see something you really want you fly across the floor to it! This afternoon you spotted your airplane popper toy and broke in to a run-crawl, it was pretty funny.
You’ve got two teeth now! They are such cute little mini chiclets in your mouth. I love spotting them when you smile! You continue to love gnawing on anything you can get your hands on and still have quite the drool going on, so I think we’ve got more teeth a coming right around the corner!
You have been giving me a little bit of stress this past month with your teething, you didn’t want to eat! My baby who would cry at the end of a bottle, didn’t even want his bottles, or to nurse. It was not fun, but luckily, like everything, it was a phase and you’re back to eating like a champ! Phew.
You started playing with bath toys over the past month, and now when you get in the bath, you reach over and pick out one of your toys from the pouch they hang in on the side of the tub. It still amazes me every time. You know right where they are, you know how to reach over and take out what you want. You even sometimes reach around the ones you don’t want. You’re getting so big!
Now that you go to bed a little bit later, we get to go out for walks every night with Khadijah. I like to think it helps us both unwind from the day a little bit and mellow out. I love those daily special moments with you.
We went to an open house at Bright Horizons this past month, so you got to show off your space! We played in the art room and took home a masterpiece. We played in the movement matters zone. You even climbed up the rock wall, well you pulled up on some of the rocks, but it was a start! It was really fun to get to spend some time with you there and see the teachers all dressed up!
Yesterday was Yom Kippur, a day when as Jews we are asked to fast and take the day to reflect on the past year and most importantly atone for what we believe were failings, or to whom we think we wronged. In years past the day for me was spent in NH in Temple and on Mimi and D’s porch reflecting and more often than not, writing those reflections down. Yesterday was a much different day of atonement for me. Namely, I didn’t atone. I was focused on you, I spent the day being your Mom my most important job right now. We still got to break fast as a family with your Grandma, Grandpa, Grandma Rose and Uncle Will and that was pretty sweet. It is always nice to spend time with family on holidays.
I love talking with you, big boy. We have some good chats during our evening walks, and I love when I get you up from a nap how as soon as you get in my arms you start chattering away. Its the best. You’re starting to say some things that sound like words, it is fun to speculate what word you might be saying and think about what your first real word will be!
We have another busy month ahead of us, and you will just keep being your busy self growing and changing right before our eyes. Keep it up bud, you’re doing great!
I love you you sweet sweet boy,
Mama
I rushed to make the early train tonight so I could come to that guy up there. He ate, we sat in the grass, we video chatted with his Auntie, we walked halfway around the coffee table and did a to the couch transition, we sat together and had conversations, we had a shoulder ride. Suddenly, it seems like my blah Monday was pretty darn awesome.
7 Months*
Wow, Milio man. I can’t really believe that you have been in our lives for 7 months now, and at the same time, its like you were never NOT our smiley sweet boy.
Everyone comments on how happy you are, everyone. And its true, you’re so happy! I like to take some credit, but for the most part I think you’re just a good natured guy and that’s just great!
Sure, you get upset sometimes, but it is usually because you want to eat, sleep or get at something out of reach. Usually that something is my iPhone.
We can sit you up anywhere now and you stay up with such confidence, it is great. Most of the time, you’re right on your belly next though, looking to crawl. You have got the army shuffle DOWN. But, when you get up on your hands and knees you can’t quite figure out what to do next. Take your time, we’re in no rush here!
You’ve started wanting to pull up on things, but I want you to crawl first so I’m trying to discourage it as much as possible. Although, on Sunday night you were doing pushups basically on a sweet stool someone gifted you with your name on it. Dad and I were pretty impressed, I will say!
Right now, your favorite thing is your hands. You put them out in front of you and just turn them back and forth and marvel at these cool things in front of your face. Usually when you have something gripped in your chubby little fist you just turn your hand and watch the object move in your hand. Fascinating, right? Our bodies are really cool things.
The next best things your hands do is bang. You love to bang them! You bang on my chest, on your face, on the floor, on anything! When you’re working on your crawling you often end up just banging the floor, like you’re saying, “Hey! Move!”
You love shaking rattles. I gave you these mini marracas that Ali gave me that she found at her nieces house and you had a blast shaking them and listening to the cool noises they make!
You’re getting out and exploring a lot more now. Your Grandma took you to the beach and you got to hang out in the sand. We took you to Yankee Stadium and you got to check it out from Dad’s back. You went on a swing for the first time, and down a slide on my lap and then Dad’s. You liked the swing better.
The coolest new thing you’ve done is eat! You have tried a ton of fruits and veggies and some meat too. You LOVE tomatoes. The other day I was carrying you inside after picking a bowl of cherry tomatoes and you just grabbed one out of the bowl and started chomping away! Usually I cut them in half and you shove the whole half in your mouth and suck out all the good parts and then spit the peel out.
You started with peppers and apples, and still enjoy those, but we’ve been exploring lots of tastes and textures and you’re loving being along for the ride. You get pretty focused and serious when you eat, but you have a blast too. I love that I can just put some food in front of you and let you go at it, we both have more fun that way.
And, even though we already know you’ll be making a big name for yourself some day, we decided to take you on a go-see! You and me traveled in to NYC on the train on a Friday morning, and after a visit to my office, we headed up to Grand Central and let a nice woman at American Baby take some pictures of you. Maybe they’ll call, maybe they won’t, but it was fun and you got to spend the morning with me and the afternoon with Dad!
We’ve been really busy, and we keep on getting busier, but it is all for great reasons and a lot of it is so you can spend lots of time with all the special people in your life. You bring so much joy to everyone. You’re the best little boy Emilio and I am so looking forward to what you have in store for us in your 8th month!
I love you a million times and more,
Mama
*Photo set to come!
In reading her post this morning, I got to numbers 9 and 10 and thought, “Yep, that’s it!”
I think of any age, although the flood of newborns in my life right now is making me long slightly for newborn days, the 5.5-now (7 months today!) time is my favorite. He’s becoming a little person and I can see it, but he’s also still a baby and cuddles with me at night and sometimes in the morning. He still needs us completely, but is also becoming independent and it is a blast to watch. And as Liz describes, it is so cool to watch Emilio watch his hand, to see him turning it side to side and guess at what is going through his head as he watches it. (I picture a stoner like, “ooooh man, that is soooo cooooool”) I don’t want this time to end, I want to watch him figure out how to crawl, and pass objects from one hand to the other, mash banana in to his eye before he gets it in to his mouth and shove a whole half of a cherry tomato in to his mouth and smile so all I see is the red of the tomato skin as he sucks the juice out, forever.
At the same time, I’m so fascinated by who Emilio is going to be and I am so looking forward to watching that person develop. I wonder what his first words are going to be, how him and Khadijah are going to interact in the future, what kinds of adventures we’ll get to go on with him. There is still so much to come that I’m looking forward to.
This journey is a pretty incredible one.
