Blogging our first pregnancy and child rearing, all the ups and downs, tears and laughs and overthinking that not only comes with being knocked up and a new Momma, but with just being me.
A few nights ago- on the guest bed:
Emilio climbs up and lies down facing Matt, places his chin on this hands and says, “Let’s talk!”
Last night, laying on his changing table playing with a plastic beaded necklace.
Emilio places the necklace over his eyes and says, “Look Mama! I’m wearing glasses.” Then he removes it and says, “I took them off!”
Then he holds it up to my face, “Your turn!”
Yesterday morning, I’m in the shower.
Emilio opens the door and yells, “What are you doing Mama?”
“I’m taking a shower!”
“Oh, that’s ok.”
Seriously. When did he become a 5 year old in a nearly 2.5 year olds body?!
My third year as a Mother, getting to celebrate this journey, getting to reflect on who I am now.
As I drove to Yoga on Sunday morning. I smiled. Just driving in my station wagon, car seat in the back seat, windows down. I felt happy. I felt content in my life, in this journey. Happy at where I was, where I’m going and where I’ve been.
To another year of growth, change, joy and memory making.
Okay - I’ll bite.
1. My pants are too tight. Worst feeling in the world and it is all I can think about as I sit at my desk. <——— no productivity today
2. Solo yoga and then dinner with friends tonight, Adults only Bat Mitzvah party and hotel sleep over tomorrow night means 2 nights I don’t have to battle 2 year old energy in to sleep. <————- I’ll miss him, but SCORE
3. Emilio wore my running visor on our walk last night. I couldn’t handle the cuteness. <———— little kids in bigger clothes is too much.
4. Today was a day when every picture I got from Daycare was adorable. <——— cue working mama guilt
5. Does anyone else overshare with their daycare teachers at drop off? Yeah. That was me today. <——- it makes me more relatable, right?
I’ve been kind of quiet over here, huh?
Sometimes I want to write about how awesome my kid is and how amazed I am at him, daily. Especially his verbal abilities and his memory. But I don’t want to come off in a way that makes other Mamas feel less than.
Then, I want to write about how challenging this journey can be sometimes. How I got angry when Emilio won’t take a nap or go to sleep at night. But I know I’m not angry at him, I’m angry at myself. Or just tired. Usually just tired. But I feel like I do plenty of that here.
Or, I want to share the sweet moments I so cherish, like when he asks for me first thing in the morning and just cuddles in to my neck. But does that make it seem like I’m trying to mask our experience as picture perfect?
And then I want to just tell you about our weekend. But I don’t want to be boring.
Then I think about what to share, what’s new or cool or interesting. And I realize that while Emilio keeps changing, and our lives keep changing, there is more of the same. There is a little less rapid change and growth and a little more just, “Wow” at being a parent to this kid.
We were at a playground yesterday and Emilio was climbing up stairs meant for 5 year old kids (so there was a good bit of “throw my body half way up and just pull”) and doing the slide. Again, and again, and again. I didn’t have to help him. I didn’t have to hold his hand. He just kept doing it.
And that’s parenting too, right? You realize you get to places where you don’t have to hold anyone’s hand. You may have to throw yourself up and hope you can pull the rest of the way. But, you can go down the big slide. So you just keep doing it. Looking for that smiling face at the bottom.
Today you’re 27 months old - officially. I’m going to be honest. I’ve basically stopped counting in months. You’re 2. And a big 2 at that. I didn’t catch the whole song, but what I did get shows just enough of a slice of who you are to make it a video I think we’ll watch again, and again. And probably play at some milestone event in your future.
Gosh you love to sing. And sing with abandon. And I love it.
We went to a fair near our house on Saturday, and you were having none of the rides, overall you were not a very happy camper. But, on the way home, you sang the entire time. That Old MacDonald - he’s got a lot of farm animals! And your Dad and I just looked at each other and smiled as we walked home together.
What a spark. What a guy.
I love you,
Lately- it’s been all about the evening walks I get to take with my guy.
And working for the weekend.
Looking forward to more balance to come.
For now, I cherish the moments I have and am thankful for opportunities afforded to me.
And, Emilio? Today in the grocery store we kept running in to a 9 or so month baby girl and when we walked by her at one point he looked up at me and said, “I need to give her a hug.”
That’s Emilio, at this moment.
- Over Dinner
- E: "I want peanut butter with a spoon"
- A: *shakes head* "Let's focus on dinner!"
- E: "a big bite!"
- E: "A little bit?" With head cock and all.
- Ahh the age of bargaining is on us!
- E: "Mama play some music?"
- A: "Sure! I'll play a song I'm really into right now."
- A: "Hmm. Not sure why it's not playing."
- E: "It's loading?"
- Ahh bringing up a child in tech.
Happy 26 Months my Milio Man!
You continue to grow, and change, and become the boy you are.
Your sentences lengthen, you understand more, you say more. And that is just one of the ways you showcase the boy you’re becoming.
You love to learn.
You love to read and dance and sing.
You love animals, all of them.
You love the people in your life.
You are my sweet baby boy, and my silly little guy all at once.
To more and more and more.
I love you,
I’ve read him The Going To Bed Book about 10 times, maybe. Tonight, before I read it to him - he read it to himself. In the places he didn’t remember words, he made up words and kept the rhythm of the rhymes.
His memory amazes me.
He amazes me.
Gosh I love that boy.
And am so happy he fell asleep in time for The Bachelor! Mama’s guilty pleasure!